and this love came to me like the wind
can't be seen but can feel it
i don't know what it would been
if i'm not making that decision & choose otherwise
but after all, life is a wisdom & learning, p.s crying until your eyes were almost torn out
you think that you are better at making decisions
but actually, those decisions you make are the ones that teach you the real meaning of choosing with your own heart
taste your medicine after making that decision
and then the bitterness slowly can be tasted even if it happened ten years ago ~
you left him as a girl
you repent as a woman
and now i realize, i was the problem
i realized the shoes that i thought i would never fit in, i threw them out & ran away from it
was the one that was Is it It's meant for me
but it's too late
too late to ask for absolution
too late to repent and ask for forgiveness
too late to answer his question
too late to say i love you but i have to let you go
too late to tell please live your life to the fullest & forget me, let me go just like the wind
too late to wipe his tears and say
" i wish you would come with me & let's walk through this life together, & live our life as if tomorrow will never come "
and this is maybe your lifetime misery
take it up and swallow it with pride
learn it, repent it, forget it, accept it, and let it go ~
and now here i am
writing a poem a page to page
write it on every place i can write
and let the wind touch it, fly it & let the ashes of my heart pour into the sea or maybe become a cloud of dust & fall without seeing it
i wrote about you ten years ago as a girl
and then those poems become a crumpled paper & burn with those love letters & that " something something " that i wished i would give to you
you were in my mind
and still in my mind
and today, 9 years pass after i let you go
~ it would be 10 years two months later when december is coming ~
i'm writing a page again
after so long i forget about you
this day, i write about you
not as a person i hate the most
but as a person i love for the first time, and as a person that teaches me what is the meaning of Time
it's been 9 years since i let you go
i will write a poem about closure
to the door that i'd closed
to the bridge that i've burned
to the chance that i never give it to you
this is me, a lady that you have been falling in love in your twenties
i'm sorry for that night i left you & pulled my hand before you even reached it
i'm sorry for that night i never gave you even one chance to show your true feelings & your sincerity towards me
i'm sorry for that night i never asked you if you wished for this breakup
i'm sorry for that night i never asked you what it would been if this separation were the only choice we have
i'm sorry for that night i looked at you with a teary eye & saw you as the last time as your woman
i'm sorry for that night in december
even if it is too late
i still write it here so the tears that you have shed all this time
the heartache you felt in every breath
the loneliness that sealed you in every night
the emptiness that wrapped you tight until you couldn't feel anything except numbness & dizziness
the sadness that overwhelmed you & the sea of hopelessness drowned you without giving you a chance to help yourself
the waiting, wait & wait that you wished for & those daydreams you have in your mind, wishing me showed up when you open the door & my sweet smile will gleam into your heart & you can't feel anything except infinity of happiness
the love that you wished for from me until your leg stumbles & you kneel down because your heart cannot accept the fact you are the one that got away
here i am
this is my poem to you
i'm still here, even the flowers wither away
i'm still here, even though time has passed for a thousand years
i'm not going anywhere
still, i never went anywhere all this time
it's just, that december is not for us
Time is the one that separate us
it's not you, it's not me
Time is the only answer to every question you have about me
and here i am
writing the poem until the end of the page
and now i want to say to you,
every moment we've shared together
was the best & the most precious moment in my life
i'll take it as a gift
but i'll never ask you to come back
let the time separate us again just like the december
and maybe after the time passes,
you no longer cry & you will let me go
let's end this here
even if this is not the one that you wished for
but,
reality is the one that shows you this is the life we live for
and as for you, taste your own medicine
swallow it with pride
as how you have showed it to me all this time
cry it if you wanna cry
but never ask for my absolution
not even for a one-second chance
Let Me Go
bye bye my love
bye bye my friend
love only comes once in your life
when it goes, it will never happen to you again
please,
Forget Me
Thank you,
Goodbye
sunshine december,
Lea 🦢
Taylor Swift - Back To December
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